October 2010
My one audio upload a day for today goes out to...
Dead Language
I usually don’t fill my tumblr up with so much brain-candy, but I can’t help it. I’ll probably disappear in the next month as well. I have to devote time to NaNoWriMo, as well as my real life. >_>
Went to a party with Matthew last night. At first I was apprehensive that his friends wouldn’t like me, but I think it went over well. I had a good time. No hangover,...
“If I could only hold your heart, I’d never beat again.”
– Raised by Swans
Also
Who has been listening to the last track I posted up? (by Touche Amore)
It’s gotten the most listens of any other song I’ve posted thus far and I was just wondering if anybody liked it?
Par For The Course
Let the pre-writing begin. (Not even a formal outline, but a list of topics and scenes that I want to cover in my story.)
http://www.nanowrimo.org/
3 days. 15 hours. 25 minutes.
Somebody, please get me to stop procrastinating on writing my paper.
I also have to miss out on a nice formal dinner with my coworkers thanks to said paper.
Thank you ENC1102. /sarcasm.
I really like this band.
Seven
I feel much more comforted now that I talked to mom about everything that was on my mind. As nature goes, I’m sure we’ll always have our ups and downs. But I think something is there that wasn’t before. Openness, and honesty. Things are going to be different for once. And I think now that it is all out; now that I’ve purged these feelings, I can finally move on.
...
Was going to post something by Touche Amore, but...
Ambulance
The perspectives of life are terribly complex and fragile. And so, the rosy red glasses have finally come off. Every day I think I’ve grown to the potential of knowledge of my life, as if I’ve finally completed my own puzzle, stepping into the next chapter. But the search never ends. The growth and knowledge will never end, and until I accept this, I will continue to be caught off...
The Taste of Regret
I shouldn’t have looked at those photos. They brought up all of the memories. All of the moments we spent together. Such a profound wave of sadness overcoming me tells me that I’m still not over everything. Or maybe I am, and I just miss the good moments. I know what kind of person you are, and I know deep down you really haven’t changed much. Not at all. Maybe it’s because...
“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
– Holden Caulfield, Catcher in the Rye
Caves, Hollow Trees and Other Dwellings
I realize this is the first time I’ve posted in days now, but I’ve been quite the busy/sick bee lately. I don’t know if it’s because my ear has been pounding and hurting the hell out of me lately, or if I’m about to start my period, but I’m starting to reach a breaking point with my job.
The worst part about it is, I know for a fact I will not make as much...
History Reshits Itself
I’m not putting myself through a Kyle-esque situation. It’s time to step up to the plate and put everything I’ve learned in the past year, into motion. It’s time to stand up for myself.
When you’re walking a thin line between ignorance and confusion, you won’t know the difference between a cycle and a revolution.
Retreat! Retreat!
October 14, 2010.
It’s been exactly four months since my interview. Four months since my life changed dramatically, for the better. I can say that, at least. Despite both triumphs and struggles, I’ve done my best to thrive here. But I’m sitting here thinking. It’s been four months, and I know now that I am being permanently hired on. There’s something terribly bittersweet about this, because even...
I would love to let my walls down, but I’m terrified to. Every time I do, it ends in disaster.
Honestly, Really?
I should have seen this coming. I can always count on you to pull some of your stupid crap. This time, just like every time, I think it’s different. But it’s not. I seem to forget your true colors whenever we actually get along, but I’m the fool for thinking this “friendship” was legitimate. I’m probably one of the few people who knows you, both inside and out,...
Caribou
Taking it slow, saving up she, Before she know it, all I ask before she goes home. She’s tired of crying, and sick of his lies. She’s suffered him for far too many years of her life. Feeling low, and scared that he’ll say, Do you know how overtime you drove her away? Saving up for, the day when she goes. The day that she stands up for everything that she chose. She can...
Battles
I’m sincerely excited for what the future has in store. Probably going to begin prewriting for NaNoWriMo soon so I have a way to progress my story if it begins to go flat. Will be doing some more digital art soon. Hopefully getting my amps over to Dustin’s house this weekend.
I’m pretty excited to see where this all goes.
…I need a haircut.
HYDRO-SUH-FOO-LOO-WEEN →
billionsandbillionsmusic:
The Chemist Vs. The Computer released Hydrosufoolooween today. Go listen to it on bandcamp, then tell everyone you know how much you hated it. Any press is good press in our eyes. If it has you talking, then we succeed.
To be honest, I like it, a lot.
The Story I Heard
So, last night I had a really bizarre dream. I don’t know how to accurately describe it, because i don’t remember all of it, but a lot of it involved water. I remember being on a raft floating down a water ride/stream with a few of my friends. And driving over a bridge over water to get to this really large house at the end of the stream. It was like, five stories tall. But I guess the...
I’ve made it a goal of mine to craft my words from my feelings so that people know what I mean and feel whenever I say it. I’ll try to accomplish this during Nanowrimo.
Cheers.
“Next song is called Notres Langues Nous Trompes. It’s french for our...”
– Saetia
Also
Just to make a list, because my mind is going through crazy time warps right now:
Freshman Year - 5 years ago (2005-2006)
Sophomore Year - 4 years ago (2006-2007)
Junior Year - 3 years ago (2007-2008)
Senior Year - 2 years ago (2008-2009)
Freshman College - 1 year ago (2009-2010)
What the fuck is happening to me?
Not Starting to Love Myself Sooner
mybiggestregretever:
My biggest regret ever is not starting to love myself sooner. I spent so many years hating myself for absolutely no reason other than because I thought I should be more like everyone else. I still have ups and downs, but it doesn’t matter because I love who I am and I love my life — good and bad.
[Female, 20]
It feels pretty liberating to see somebody submitting one of...
Foreign Film Collection
The past week has given me insight into how much I really have changed in the past year. Last year my life consisted of AbsolutePunk.net, a decaying relationship, and nightly depressive episodes of crying, followed by long bouts of sleep.
A year ago I never thought I would be who I am to this day, but I am profoundly content as a result. I used to be a very relationship oriented person, and I...
National Novel Writing Month →
Everybody needs to look into this. Please spread the word.
Depth of Field
My psychology class is the only thing that keeps me sane during the week. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m juggling a lot. I had a lot of mental notes scribbled in my notebook today during class, but I’m too lazy to go dig them out to recall right now. Hopefully this turns out to be a good weekend. I need an escape.
Spiders by Lovedrug.
I love this movie.
Quit Benefit
I’ve perfected the art of cutting people loose from my life when it’s necessary.
Part of me wishes I could say that I regret this, and that I want to continue being their friends. But I don’t. It’s bullshit.
I knew there was a reason I didn’t really trust them, and I’d rather let things go now, than let myself continually be manipulated. People may not like...
Did You Know Him?
4Loko is so fucking ridiculous. I still feel nauseous. I was going to go home, but B-Rian called and wanted to know if Jake and I wanted to hang out. So here I am, at Jake’s house. I feel like I want to hurl, and I need a shower. I guess I’m hip now.
I’m so embarrassing sometimes.
I’m at TPA with Rachel and Jake. We’re probably going back to Lakeland later tonight, but I have a feeling this is going to be a great night to come.
Get stoked, everybody.
Masterpiece
Have you ever had a day where you just wake up, and you feel great about yourself? I don’t know why, but today’s been one of those days for me. Maybe it’s because I actually took the time to do my hair. I dunno. I like only doing my hair every once in a while, because I feel like it’s more rewarding instead of doing it every single day. But at the same time I always sort of...
I Strive.
to be independent. to be creative. to be recognized. to be valued. to value myself. to love myself. to help others. to help myself. to make a difference. to function efficiently. to be happy.
