August 2010
Not Taking Charge of My Own Life Sooner
mybiggestregretever:
My biggest regret ever is not taking charge of my own life sooner. I lived my life in fear and depression, and though I’m still afraid of some things, I’m a much happier and a much more complete person than I’ve ever been. Overall, my biggest regrets come from the things I was too afraid to do, or didn’t do, rather than the things I did do.
[Female, 19]
This is me....
As He Climbed The Dark Mountain
I have to get my ass into gear within the next twenty minutes or so. I have to shower, dry my hair, and then straighten it which, in itself, takes about an hour. My mom’s getting an eye appointment done, and she may have to have her eyes dilated, which I hope to god not. Not because it will make me drive. I actually want that. But I’m hanging out with my friend Nathan today and I told...
I Am The Wind, You Are The Feather
I’m trying not to think too much about things, but ultimately I feel anxious when I wake up every morning. I hate my [literal] dreams. They’re extremely foreboding.
Hope is all we have left.
Here We Go Again
Since this didn’t go so well last week, let’s try this again.
Short term goals:
Start narrative. Stretch EVERY day for at least ten minutes. Plan out 3-5 minute video. Finish chapter 1 readings for PSY2012. Chapter 1 and 2 readings for HLP1081. Talk to adviser about changing major to psychology. Long term goals:
Buy a car Do well in all of my classes for the semester (A’s and B’s) ...
Jennifer: The other day I came home, and it was raining so hard that the rain was coming into my porch, and it's screened. I've never seen anything like it!
Me: Welcome to Florida!
I Miss School.
…what the heck is wrong with me?
Affliction
Twenty four hours ago I had serious doubts about how today was going to go, but today went pretty smoothly. Actually, today was pretty killer, overall. I only have one class on Mondays, and it’s only from 8-9 because it’s a hybrid/online course, which I can dig. One of my McKeel friends, Peyton, is in that class, and she’s hilarious. The teacher is also pretty amusing, so...
“I’m the one who is going to die when it’s time for me to die, so...”
– Jimi Hendrix
Beyond the Visible Spectrum, by Thursday. One of...
Photoblog - Aroundsurvival →
Finally, I’ve been wanting to start this. Check it and let me know what you think. I’ll still be updating my regular blog though.
“Being self conscious is the enemy of anything.”
– Ben Lazar
Today Has Been A Gem
Don: Boy, the trash can is heavy today.
Donna: Why's that?
Don: A lot of Francine's stuff is in here.
Donna: Is Francine in there too?
Everybody Else: LOL :O
Me: Lulz
Francine's the lady that's always ragging on me/bitching at me.
My forehead burns. If I weren’t at work, I’d probably stick my head in a bucket of ice.
I’m also facing sort of a dilemma. Jake’s moving up to JAX in two days, and tonight we were supposed to hang out with Barb and Rachel but my mom has been guilt tripping me into going to this funeral with her; her coworker’s mom died. I really like my coworker, but I’ve had...
If It Means A Lot To You
This is my goal. I have two finished so far. Only 38 more to go, but also adding one as each day comes. Each individual one I’ll be scanning and posting on my deviant art.
http://raychilla.deviantart.com/
So, I was walking back to the main office from shipping, and I came up with an idea. For each day that passes I’m going to create a link, like a chain of paper links and I’ll decorate it/paint it in whichever way I see fit/fits that day. It may sound silly, but I’m pretty stoked.
Mom: Rachel, wake up now we're going to be so late! shitfucketc.
Me: Mom. Calm down.
Mom: Hurry up I don't know what I'm going to do!
Me: ...you're going to be late. and then, I know this is going to surprise you, but it won't be the end of the world.
Mom: Rachel you don't understand.
Me: Mom, you're turning an ant pile into a mountain.
Mom: You DON'T understand
Me: Maybe I don't understand everything, but you're making a big deal out of nothing, mom. Just chill out.
Mom: You don't understand.
Me: Okay.
I'm beginning to use my common sense instead of just freaking out over what mom says all of the time. It's a pretty good feeling.
Standing On The Edge of Summer
I’m thinking about starting a photo blog; once I get a new digital camera since mine still hasn’t reappeared yet. It’s been about four months now so I’m not really expecting it to.
I won’t lie, I wish I could rip Thursday’s Kill The House Lights onto my iPod. I already have the music, but I mean the DVD portion. That would be killer.
Tonight’s not much...
Beyond the Visible Spectrum
I am Rachel Vandiver.
I’m nineteen years old and I have lived in Lakeland, Florida my whole life.
I am a good person, and I care about my friends and the people around me.
I’m genuinely interested in the lives of others.
Helping people gives me immense satisfaction.
Sometimes I become irritable, and I can sometimes speak without thinking, but I’ve come to terms with that as...
Something Needs to Change
I almost slept a solid twelve hours last night. Not sure how I feel about this. Might as well appreciate it because I’m sure once school starts I’ll be getting about three hours a night.
For the past week or so I’ve been thinking about school a lot more, and it’s not that I don’t like learning, as well as the fact that a lot of my friends are there. I just simply...
The Violent Blue
Today’s been really weird, but I’m glad it’s ending on a much better note than it began/ran its course through.
It bothers me to think about, because I hate falling outs. But sometimes I guess it’s necessary. For a while now you’ve just been extremely negative. And I know it would be unreasonable to ask everybody to be positive all of the time, but the moment you...
The Story I Heard
I’m going to make a video of all of the people at my work.
…if I can find my camera. Hopefully this happens before the summer ends. I love my job. Even if it is kind of boring at times, I love the people at my job, and I’m really lucky to be able to work there. Within the past eight weeks I’ve grown immensely, as a person. Thank you to everybody who has helped me.
...
Here I Am
Long story short, yesterday I got attacked and bitten by a dog. Luckily I was wearing jeans, so it didn’t penetrate my skin TOO much. Even luckier, a neighbor of mine was outside so I was able to scream for help. I am a very lucky person to escape from that with nothing but two puncture marks and a bruise.
<3
This is for you.